Monday, 19 March 2012

JC... A Bad Advert For Scottish Tourism

Jamie Clark is an angry 17 year old with a lot of things on his mind. He hates two things; The speed in which he is going bald, and Scottish football...

The Clydesdale Bank Premier League.

Sounds boring?

It is boring.

The SPL currently sits 18th in the UEFA league standings one place behind the not so superb Israeli League, where Toto Tamuz is currently banging in the goals.

So how come the SPL is so far behind England? A country filled with some of the worlds best players, coaches and even a fit physio. The Barclays Premier League is top of UEFA rankings which surely makes it the best league in the world- apologies to the K league of Korea.

The reason why I ponder over the Scottish game is because since its inauguration in 1998 only two teams have won the title. Celtic and Rangers of Glasgow, So surely the two big guns of Scotland and the other 10 teams in the SPL must find it hard to get up on a Saturday. Not only is the football poor, I don't see any passion from players and fans (apart from the maniacs of the Old Firm and the Crazy Hearts fan who attacked Neil Lennon last season.)

They play and live in a country with a 12 month winter, they have some of the ugliest people in the world and more batter than Frazer Triggs* could get through.

Rangers are currently in huge financial trouble so if they were to go out of existence what would it mean for Celtic? It's a sad day when your biggest game of the year is a Emirates Cup match against Arsenal.

I wonder if Scotland is a place for players that couldn't make it in the top leagues of Europe. There's often talks of the two clubs joining the English league but I just think it would give them the same feeling the other 10 teams in the SPL have. Failure.

JC’s Stats..

Celtic are the most successful club with 358 SPL wins to Rangers’ 338 Hearts are a (not so) close third with 208 wins.

Kris Boyd has the most SPL goals with 164, 6 more than Henrik Larsson who got his 158 in 3 less seasons.

Oh and Hearts are the only other team to split Celtic and Rangers in 05/06 they came second.

So there you go some boring facts for a boring league.

*Frazer Triggs is a friend and former team mate of JC’s, who he linked up with for a season as a foil to Trigger’s target man. Frazer was known as a target man largely down to his robust figure, rather than ability to link up play and hold the ball up.


  1. Good artcle, especially for JC who i understand left school at 5 to become a full time bike mechanic and even though he has been doing a stellar job of tightening spokes and putting new batteries into bike lights, still needs to check which way a screw driver turns before tightening a screw. For the record i saw FT play a few times, a good sloid footballer and if im not mistaken, a knebworth hall of famer? Intresting read though and i look forward to the next time JC writes an article, which will probably be the next time his mum is free to show him what hand to put the pen in!!

  2. Good to see journeyman&co are supplementing a youth development program. Is JC referring to FT eating his way through this batter? Or merely mistaken for Triggers speed on the pitch appearing to seem like he was wading through batter? Toupee!

  3. The Real Hall of Famer19 March 2012 at 20:28

    Trigger was known by many at Knebworth as 'treadmill', not because he dabbled but mainly for the fact when he ran it didn't look like he was going anywhere! JC this is pretty decent. Funnyish too for you.

  4. I enjoy a dig at triggs and I assume it was Frazer who made the first comment...

  5. Offofdatchworth20 March 2012 at 17:00

    FT here, good to see my protege has found something he is half decent at doing as attempting to break my scoring record was something he certainly wasnt going to do! I do love batter, thats correct.. On a treadmill you do in fact clock up a distance covered so i was always comfortable with that tag.. PS who did make the first comment?

  6. Good work JC, but can you name the 6 players who have won both the English and Scottish Premier League!?

  7. Van Bronkhorst, colin hendry, sutton not sure of any more...

  8. kanchelskis, larsson and roy keane

  9. first comment has got to be Jordan Mullen... only person i know who supports my bike mechanic career